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  • Old Yeller

    Yelling at your librarian will get you nothing but stink eye.

  • Dude

    “What did the surfer ask the librarian?”
    “Is my book over dude?”

  • Smile!

    Smile! Libraries love you, whoever you are!

  • Book or Treat

    “Can I have a snow cone?”
    “This isn’t the snack bar.”
    “But I wanted a treat.”
    “Oh we’ve got plenty of those, this is the library, come on in.”

  • Pool’s Open!

    An important announcement from your local library:
    “Don’t drop your library books in the pool!”

  • Summer Reading

    Miss Dove is feeling a bit frazzled while planning this year’s summer reading program.

  • Are You My Mother?

    “Are you my mother?”
    “No Luke, I am your father.”

  • 792.8 – Tap Dance

    “Shuffle step, shuffle step, ball change, heel step, shuffle step, shuffle step…”

  • :O

    Watch out Miss Dove, someone’s trying to look up your “information.”

  • Prose Knows

    “Why are fiction writers better than poets?”
    “They’re prose.”

  • Blue Moon

    Tonight’s full blue moon

  • Fly, little bird

    “That is your new library card.”
    “What does it do?”
    “It can take you anywhere you’d like to go.”
    “Wow, I thought only my wings could do that!”

  • Hummm

    “What do you call a Song Sparrow that can’t sing?”
    “A Hummingbird!”

  • Snoozleupagus

    Insert Big Bird snoring sound effect. You know you know it.

  • “The library will close, I’ll lose my job, civilization will end!”
    “Pull yourself together, Miss Dove! E-books will never replace print. People hate e-books.
    Snap out of it!”

  • Happy Mother’s Day

    “Thanks for sitting on me until I hatched, barfing my breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and teaching me to fly, mom.”

  • Dovey Dancing

    Now, I’ve had the time of my life and I owe it all to you…
    “Baby, are you ready for the lift?”
    “Last time I ended up in the corner, nobody puts Baby in the corner.”

  • “Excuse me, I have a question.”
    “Miss Dove, you are at the reference desk. You answer the questions, you don’t ask them.”
    “Can I leave the reference desk?”

  • “Hey, why can’t a bird’s beak be 12 inches long?”
    “I don’t know, why?”
    “Because then it would be a foot!”
    “You know that J stands for juvenile, right?”
    “Yeah! That’s my favorite section!”

  • Library Matter

    “Excuse me, is everything ok?”
    “Oh yes, we are just settling a library matter.”
    “Ok! I give up! DDC is better than LCCN.”