Yelling at your librarian will get you nothing but stink eye.
“What did the surfer ask the librarian?”
“Is my book over dude?”
Smile! Libraries love you, whoever you are!
“Can I have a snow cone?”
“This isn’t the snack bar.”
“But I wanted a treat.”
“Oh we’ve got plenty of those, this is the library, come on in.”
An important announcement from your local library:
“Don’t drop your library books in the pool!”
Miss Dove is feeling a bit frazzled while planning this year’s summer reading program.
“Are you my mother?”
“No Luke, I am your father.”
“Shuffle step, shuffle step, ball change, heel step, shuffle step, shuffle step…”
Watch out Miss Dove, someone’s trying to look up your “information.”
“Why are fiction writers better than poets?”
Tonight’s full blue moon
“That is your new library card.”
“What does it do?”
“It can take you anywhere you’d like to go.”
“Wow, I thought only my wings could do that!”
“What do you call a Song Sparrow that can’t sing?”
Insert Big Bird snoring sound effect. You know you know it.
“The library will close, I’ll lose my job, civilization will end!”
“Pull yourself together, Miss Dove! E-books will never replace print. People hate e-books.
Snap out of it!”
“Thanks for sitting on me until I hatched, barfing my breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and teaching me to fly, mom.”
Now, I’ve had the time of my life and I owe it all to you…
“Baby, are you ready for the lift?”
“Last time I ended up in the corner, nobody puts Baby in the corner.”
“Excuse me, I have a question.”
“Miss Dove, you are at the reference desk. You answer the questions, you don’t ask them.”
“Can I leave the reference desk?”
“Hey, why can’t a bird’s beak be 12 inches long?”
“I don’t know, why?”
“Because then it would be a foot!”
“You know that J stands for juvenile, right?”
“Yeah! That’s my favorite section!”
“Excuse me, is everything ok?”
“Oh yes, we are just settling a library matter.”
“Ok! I give up! DDC is better than LCCN.”