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  • I’m Molting!

    “When you think things couldn’t get worse, always remember,
    you could be a molting Cowbird.”

  • Grace

    “Oh, oh gosh, this is embarrassing. I forgot how to sit in a chair.”
    “Don’t worry about it. I just pooped in this desk.
    We all need to give each other grace right now.”

  • Gettin’ Hairy

    “Yes? Do you have a question?”
    “What is that on your face?”
    “It’s my quarantine beard. I haven’t shaved since March!”

  • Baby-Sitters Club

    “You told your parents you were coming to the library for The Baby-Sitters Club?
    They know you meant the books, right?”

  • Say What?

    “He said what?!”

  • Synonym

    Is there another word for thesaurus?

  • Stop, Drop, and Fly Away

    “Ok guys, this game is called The Floor is Lava. Touch the floor and you burn up.”
    “If the floor is on fire, shouldn’t we just fly away? What kind of game is this?”

  • Catbird

    “MEOW! MEOW!”
    “Ahh! Catbird! You scared me!”
    “Hahaha. Works every time.”

  • Snape Snape Severus Snape

    “So I give you fair warning, Potter . . . pint-sized celebrity or not — if I catch you breaking into my office one more time —” – Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

  • Feelings

    “Good morning, I am feeling very angry!”
    “I understand, but this is a library. Please scream inside your heart.”

  • Heard That

    What do you call a group of Cowbirds checking out an audiobook?
    A heard!

  • Summer Reading

    “Pools closed, no summer camp, no bbqs, no summer concerts or festivals,
    but at least you can’t cancel summer reading!”

  • Target Practice

    “Time to go poop on something. And don’t worry,
    if I can’t find a statue, there are plenty of deserving heads out there.”

  • You Don’t Want to Know

    “Hi guys, I’ve been migrating for a couple months, what’s new?”

  • Lola

    “Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
    With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there.”

  • Masks

    “Why do you think they are covering their faces?
    Are they hiding something? Are they growing beaks?
    What if they start eating the seed they give to us?”

  • Wash Your Hands

    “I couldn’t find my hands, so I just washed everything for 20 seconds.”

  • Is it Safe?

    “Do you think it’s safe? The humans might have touched it.”
    “But, I forgot how to find food, how did we do it before bird feeders?”

  • Stay at Home Menu

    Stay at Home menu
    breakfast: oatmeal cookie
    lunch: ice cream sandwich
    dinner: 3 cheese casserole – cheesecake, cheese puffs, mac & cheese

  • Bird of the Year

    “Figures we get famous during a pandemic, and can’t be mobbed by fans.”
    @Time https://time.com/5812697/bird-library-livestream/